Friday, December 14, 2007

3 lonelyTylenol 3

Like all great spy novels, this one begins at the end.
The End. I would like to thank Gustave Verbeek and James Joyce, "riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs."

By now you may have realized I am in a lot of pain. The pain is in my lower back. I have been medicating myself for the last week with heavy doses of painkillers, 3 more tylenol 3's please.3 more tylenol 3's please.3 more tylenol 3's please is my Mantra.

I have barked all of my family and friends away for the holidays. I am an angry man. Christmas don't mean shit to me. My name is Stu and I'm an asshat.
I am not normally like this.
I remember a time when I enjoyed Christmas as much as you.
all i know is hate.

I wish I could tell you more about what happened in the beginning. I would tell you how it was, "a cold winter day like today is." But I can not tell you anymore about the beginning until the end is nearer.

What you need to know right now is that it could happen to you!
That's right. You heard me, and worse.
How can you prevent yourself from these types of tragedies?
Read more. I will explain in an easy to understand way backwards.
I've even heard some people have turned gay by not reading this story I am writing.
So, it is very important you follow me by staying ahead of me.(At least one step)
It is time I introduce you to my butler. His name is Gary Curlybun. He has commited several unsolved murders in future novels of mine. He paces when he is nervous and he is pacing right now. I pull my hair when I am nervous, but I am innocent and even if I weren't I would never tell you if I were playing with my hair right now or not because it may incriminate me later. Did I mention there was a murder. I don't think so. But there was. Can you guess who did it?
Let me tell you it was not you, me or my butler. I am also prepared to let you know it was a cold winter day like today is.
That is all for now, I will tell you more later.

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