Drunk Belly Dancing by Plusultra

Last night, after the gun fight(nobody was shot). Lexington 125 showed up at my garage with enough beer to keep the party going. Big Red was there also, with his large bag of grass. I rolled a 2 paper spliff and passed it around. Exotic Sounds of the Far East were coming in through the radio so I took my shirt off. I was dancing and dancing with my belly like a mystical Sufi and Shakira combined. The scene was rather comical,
Beer beer and more beer pass the joint and Friends, Romans, Countrymen, please lend me your cigarettes. The eccentric drunk is at it again. Who let him near the computer? Good Times? Good Night.

Blog Plus Ultra gets a facelift

The surgery was a disaster. I was doing a virus check on my computer and boom! I could smell electrical burning. I am not an expert, but I think this could be bad news. Was it all the gay porn I've been downloading I wondered? Than I remembered oh yeah I am straight and never downloaded any porn. I think it was the heat wave that seems to have hit everywhere this summer, including Winnipeg. Perhaps I have heat stroke, but I swear the voices in my head are telling me to punch my computer as hard as I can.

Seriously though,

My computer has been and will continue to be down for awhile. In the meantime I will not be posting too much. One thing I would like to say is
I love life. I love people. I hate war. I love peace. The message is clear. Everywhere you turn people are suffering needlessly as innocent victims of poverty, war, ignorance, slavery, ill health, etc.. WHY? I don't know. All I know is that the world appears to be in crisis. Money(Greed) and Religion(???) are the most obvious problems to me. If I could I would get rid of money and I would stop the world from making weapons. All religious faiths would be not only tolerated, but we could share and learn from the wisdom all faiths contain and stop killing our brothers and sisters. We should be helping each other. Please take the time to do a good deed today, Smile, Peace and love everybody,
plusultra
P.S. That was a good smoke!

Happy Father's Day

Classical Gas

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Kenny "Facelift" Rogers chooses Bosley!

Find out why celebrities like Kenny Rogers, Steve Garvey, Carl Bell & Pat O'Brien have chosen Bosley.

Royalty

Lex joins plusultra

You may have noticed cartoons on my blog lately. They were made by my friend Lex Creed. He is a funny guy with a sarcastic and dark biting style. I will continue posting his cartoons here so come back to tickle your toes often at blog plusultra.

David Levasseur

Free

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Look what I can Do!

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Lex goes to the bank

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Happy Mother's Day

My poor computer

Where is plusultra? Sitting in the corner weeping like a baby because his computer will not work. I am trying to fix it, but no luck. I will not be posting anything until I get it looked at by a proffesional. I love all my millions of fans and hope to be back soon to tickle your toes.

Drum Roll Please...

and the winner of the Friday night site of the week is... http://porktornado.diaryland.com
Thank you Eric Lambert for submitting this site and Congratulations on winning the 5$ prize!

Kenny Rogers before after surgery pictures

You got to know when to hold'em
know when to fold'em
know when to botox away
and when to collagen

It is time I let you in on a little joke. If you click here or on the Kenny Rogers Picture you will find a previous post of mine. The picture is a Kenny Rogers impersonator, If you hadn't already noticed!

Speaking of Tom Cruise and paternity testing

This movie is rated DNA

Click here for More Tom Cruise Baby stuff!

Strange sceance with John Lennon and Jim Morrison

Last night a few friends and I got together to try and contact the ghost of John Lennon. Imagine the surprise we got when Jim Morrison arrived as well. We smoked some dope together and had a nice chat about lizards and Beatles, Yoko Ono, and doors. The whole event was rather strange, but both rock stars said they were really enjoying themselves in their new home.
Did you know that John was shot on the same day Jim was born?
First one to tell me the date in comments below wins 10 blogexplosion credits!

Vagina Plastic Surgery?

I was looking at my site and the adsense ad read Vagina Plastic Surgery, I guess that is my target audience, Women who wish to improve the appearance of their..uh.. ahem(Like most men I have trouble saying the word vagina), never mind Vagina surgery. Usually I like to check out the ads on my site, but that is one I think I will stay away from. I can't imagine what the before and after pictures would look like!

Rumor has it Plusultra is hung like a black Man!

Dna Testing Paternity machine

It is the hottest thing to hit the internet since the first baby pictures of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes! If you think Tom Cruise may be your father click here or here.

Plus Ultra weekly Friday Night contest

Do you think you can top that site? Leave a link to your favorite site on the internet in the comments below. I will send the winner 5$ paypal next Friday. You may enter any url on the web, even your own. I will choose the best site based on my own opinion. Good Luck and...

Congratulations Mike Elliot on winning 100 Blogexplosion Credits from Plusultra for posting the funkiest site of the week for April 21st: http://mchammer.blogspot.com/

Paternity Testing in Hollywood

Tom Cruise has some serious explaining to do. Maybe a Paternity test will help explain these Baby Photo's. Learn how Angelina Jolie adopted a baby from the L. Ron Hubbard society in Vietnam!

Did Tom Cruise use Scientology Mind Control to implant Julia Roberts with twin clones?

This Tom Cruise Baby Pic is best viewed by an Apple computer. Is this a miracle Moses Martin? Gwyneth's Chris should be asking Tom Cruise for a paternity test immediately.

Happy 420 all you crazy cats and groovy growers

Afghanistan Hash. It grows wild in the mountains and takes you ever higher ever farther ever better.

If you want to know why today(April 20th=4/20) is significant to marijuana users click here.

How do you celebrate this national Pot Smoker's day?

Speaking of bad cosmetic surgery

Find the link to this photo and win 5$ Paypal gift from Plusultra

Congratulations Tricia on winning the 10$ Paypal gift from plusultra's Easter egg hunt!

Somewhere on this site is a link to the site I copied this Micheal Jackson Breast implant picture from.
Simply Paste the URL in the comments below first and I will send you 5$ paypal!
(eg. http://www.michaeljackson.com/)
N.B. The link may be hidden or obvious. It can be found somewhere posted on this site(including older posts).

Rod Hicks and Taylor Stewart

Is it not a strange world when a man Rod Stewart's age has the crazy hair and the young American Idol contestant has the grey mop top. I thought that if Saturday Night Live can make fun of Taylor Hicks, why not Plusultra?

Burt Reynolds Vs. Loni Anderson in Battle of the plastic surgery stars

Burt Reynolds was a handsome lad in the early 1970's when he filmed Deliverance.








Loni Anderson was every man's fantasy blonde babe in the 1970's W.K.R.P. days.

We all know so much about these famous divorced celebrities on going battles in the tabloids, but forget all that sensational legal fodder and lawer trivia. What I want to know is who do you think has had the best plastic Surgery. Loni or Burt?

Easter egg Hunt

Find this egg and win 10$ paypal gift from me, plusultra. Just one click away from somewhere on this page I took the image of this egg. The link may be hidden or obvious. Be the first to post the url where you saw it here to win a 10$ paypal gift from me.

5 Funky Funk links

Plusultra Loves funk music. Have a good fried day all you hip little smokers and tokers. Do you got the funk? If you think you know a site funkier than any of these leave the url address in my comments. I will give whoever posts the funkiest site 100 Blogexplosion credits next friday.
George Clinton George Clinton's official website.

Atomic Dawg Cool page with ultra-reliable P-Funk news, and concert and candid photos Hosted by Gina Hall.

Bootsy Collins All the latest information regarding Bootsy, his music, upcoming albums and more.
Bernie Worrell The on-line home of the one and only Wizard of WOO, Mr. Bernie Worrell.
We Funk Records The current projects of Mike "Clip" Payne, The 420 Funk Mob and Drugs.

Improved! Ameliorees! !Mejorodo! Superior Dryness!

Today I, (Plus Ultra) Had a horrible nightmare that I suffered from dyslexia caused by toxic shock syndrome.

Random Math question:
*For best results Ask this question fast 5 times out loud.*
If Plus Ultra purchased 10 packages of the Ultra Plus Poise Pads posted in Pink. How many Ultra Plus poised pads did Plus Ultra purchase?
First one with the correct answer wins 10 Blogexplosion credits from me!

Sir Real the Quarter Horse

Surreal Flying Horse
I'm just Horsin' around as usual.

Kenny Rogers the gambler by plusultra

Kenny Facelift Rogers doesn't even look himself anymore. So I rewrote his famous tune The Gambler to keep up with his modern image:

On a warm summer’s evenin’
on a table bound for nowhere,
I met up with the surgeon;
we were both too high to sleep.
So we took turns a starin’
in the mirror at the oldness’
til madness overtook us,
and he began to speak.
He said, son, I’ve made a life out of changing people’s faces,
And knowin’ what their flaws were
by the crows feet around their eyes.
So if you don’t mind my sayin’,
I can see you need a facelift.
For a taste of your kidney
I’ll put you under the knife.
So I handed him my money
and he Banked my last Dollah.
Then he put silicone in my bum
and made my pecs all tight.
And the night got deathly quiet,
and my face lost all expression.
Said, if you’re gonna have plastic surgery, boy,
ya gotta learn to keep it tight.
You got to know when to tummy tuck'em,
know when to lypo suck’em,
Know when to botox away and
know when to collagen.
You never count your wrinkles
when you’re lyin’ on the table.
There’ll be time enough for countin’
when the peelin’s done.
Now ev’ry plastic surgeon knows that the
secret to survivin’Is knowin’ what to cut away
and knowing what to keep.’
cause ev’ry face's a winner and
ev’ry face's a loser,
And the best that you can hope for
is lasers on your skin.
So when he’d finished tweakin’,
he turned back towards the mirror,
took off my bandages and tried not to make a peep.
And somewhere in the darkness
the surgeon, he broke my nose.
But in his final works
I found a face that I could keep.
You got to know when to tummy-tuck ’em,
know when to lypo-suck'em
Know when to botox away
and know when to collagen.
You never count your wrinkles
when you’re lyin’ at the table.
There’ll be time enough for countin’
when the peelin’s done.

Don't you hate it when?

You are watching America's most Wanted with John Walsh on Saturday Night and you are the featured Criminal.

How many times has this happened to you?

Friday night stories with plusultra

It was a night BreaKing News this is just a test... if this were a real story it would be a night just like tonight.
You are surfing on the internet and you come across some alchemist's blog. He gets you to download a program that turns clicks into gold. He asks you to click on his adsense pay per clicks. You do it and your usb cables get infected with the skull of Prescott Bush virus. They eat your computer and Geronimo! Soon all that is left is a 3-D Image of your skull and bones in a parallel Universe created by Fred Allan WolF.

Black Jack

This is my 21st Post. Did you know that when plusultra was born the good lord gave him the choice between having a spectaculiar memory or a huge penis? He doesn't remember which one he chose.

Mandisa?

I was quite surprised to see who was in the bottom 3 on tonight's episode of American Idol. Personally, I think that Mandisa was one of the better voices on the show and I am sad to see her go. I wish her well in her singing career and hope to see her put out a gospel album.
Kenny, or as I prefer to call him "Facelift Rogers" was this weeks guest. Since when is country music about getting cosmetic surgery? The thing I like about country music is that it is honest and down to earth and if you play the records backwards your wife comes back, you sober up, your dead dog comes back to life and you get a new good paying job.

Which Country is American Idol From?

Imagine the pomegranate. Picture the countless seeds that this wondrous fruit bares as a symbol for all the great country tunes in the American music archives. Why did the top 9 American Idols only scratch the surface of the country music genre tonight? Maybe because this week's guest was a real jack ass, Kenny Rogers.

Everybody is entitled to my opinion.
Usually I would have a picture of the American Idol Contestants here, but today I decided to show pictures of my favorite country music players instead. Hank Williams, Johnny Cash, and Willie Nelson.










Top performers on American Idol tonite according to PlusUltra:
1.Bucky Covington - I still could not understand a word he sang, but that's ah-ite, (I love Bob Dylan). Bucky wears a cow-boy hat even when it is not country theme night so it is not surprising he was best performer on this evening's episode.
2. Kelly Pickler - The other American Idol country singer did well tonight also, although I preferred her Patsy Cline cover of Walkin' after Midnight in a previous episode.
3. Paris Bennet - I don't think I want to see her as a country singer, but she never disappoints me with her voice.
5. Chris Daugherty showed us he can do something other than cheese-ball hard rock numbers
4. Elliot Yamin - Not bad
6. Taylor Hicks - Not good
7. Mandissa - Worse
8.Ace Young - Corny
9. Going Home - Katherine Mcphee
Who do you think is going home tomorrow?

That's why they invented cameras

I went to the bar, got really drunk, met some strange and funny new people. Got picked up by the police, spent the night in the drunk tank. Woke up with a hair of the dog that bit me and had these pictures in my digital camera to help me through the hangover. How many times has this happened to you?












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