Sunday, April 29, 2007

Plus Ultra's pets

I have noticed that many bloggers talk about their animals and often have pictures of their beloved pets on their blogs.

I decided I should introduce you all to my pets, because after all they are my best friends forever. I have two wonderful monkeys. They are great to have around the house. I have taught them to scratch my back and get me beer. I named the young one Lucky because he brings me luck.

The other one is called Kenny Rogers, because he likes to drink and has a beard.

I also have a pet lizard named George Bush. My Grandfather found him in the backyard one day. He got his unusual name after I did some d.n.a. testing and discovered the lizard's D.N.A matched the President of the United States almost exactly (92% the same!)

My other pets are an alien grasshopper I call Bruce Lee because when it talks to me it's lips are not in synch with what he is saying.

I have a snake with one eye that lives in my trousers called don't be ridiculous, because this whole post is ridiculous.

Oh yeah I also have a pet fly that is so hard to get a leash around to take for walks that I named him stupid fly, but after hearing him play some funky drums I changed his name to super-fly


Evil Dildo said...

Quirky plethora of critters. Have to teach my pet to grab some beer cans off the fridge. All she does is bitch around that I don't give a fair share for rent and food expenses.

Why that @#$%^&! Earning more than the man of the house can be so demeaning.

Natty said...

Monkeys rule!!!

d. chedwick bryant said...

i used to have a pet lizard, but I accidentally bit him too hard when we were playing and his head came off. I hid him under the dog's bed, and the dog took the blame!